Op/Ed: Why “Pick Me” Culture Deserves a Second Chance
By ShayLa Blake
In today’s social media climate, there is not a lot that you won’t be made fun of for. Just about any interest you have means you’re “basic” or trying too hard to be different. As much as I like to advocate for people to be themselves, despite the world’s opinion, I can also agree that the hate can get out of control at times. One group of people I think gets an unwarranted bad rep is the “pick me’s.” The “pick me’s” are the kids who always seek attention (typically from the gender they are attracted to) for every little thing they do or say.
Picture via pinterest.com
Do attention seekers remind me of nails on a chalkboard at times? Sure, but that’s only because I don’t understand why someone needs constant validation from their peers. At the risk of sounding too much like the “raging independent feminist” trope; if I can’t validate my own actions then no amount of outside praise is going to make my self-esteem skip through a field of daisies. Although this concept seems so simple to me, and probably the majority of people, not everyone is quick to pick up the concept.
Teenagers are notorious for making hasty generalizations about people that they don’t even know and writing them off before giving them a fair chance. Maybe it is just my empathic tendencies that want to play devil’s advocate for the “where’s my hug?” girls, but if you are letting the actions of others inhibit your life to point of coining a phrase like “pick me” then maybe you need to reassess your own insecurities before judging others. By my own observations, it seems as though the people who wanted to be “picked” the most are the first ones to call out “pick me” behaviors; as corny as it may be‒ it really does take one to know one.
Picture via studybreaks.com
I’d be a hypocrite if I said I never participated in “pick me” culture but, unlike those in the comment sections of random people, I know how to use a dictionary and figured out the difference between genuine narcissism and the internet term generated to belittle people. It took checking my own ego, and a free google search, that the so-called “pick me’s” are just people who struggle the same as anyone else with insecurities and self-doubt. So for those who think they’re above trivial things such as low self-esteem, it's time to hop down off the high horse and realize that we are all the same at base level because it would make life that much more enjoyable if people worked harder at being nice.
It’s sad how our generation has forgotten the power of conversation and connections between people. I promise that if we started giving people half a chance, we would understand the kids who are always “fishing for compliments.” It would show us that they might genuinely need to hear that they look nice that day. I’m not saying that we need to validate serious underlying issues like narcissism and pathologies; that is a therapist’s job to sort out. However, I am saying that if we all adopted a little more altruism into our lives the “pick me’s” would sort themselves out without the harsh judgment of others.